Barenaked Lady Steven Page Smokes Crack and Bangs Whores

So, I was compelled to pick up the Toronto Sun this morning on my Tim Hortons walk when a little caption in the top left hand corner caught my eye.

Apparently, the Toronto Sun was being kind to one of their native sons with a little caption that read "Barenaked Dope Bust...Story on Page 3." They certainly could have made it much more interesting, and closer to the truth, with a headline such as "Barenaked Lady Steven Page Caught Smoking Crack and Banging Prostitutes."

Of course, dope always sounds so innocuous, thus the headline. Dope is associated with weed, and our society has become pretty accepting to the idea of smoking up. It's really not that big of a deal anymore. But crack and cocaine has much more stigma, and it wasn't just dope that they found on Scarborough native Steven Page. The real dope was that they found him with the white stuff - cocaine, and some other white stuff, namely two twenty-something blonds named Stephanie Ford and Christine Benedicto.

Anyways, it's kinda sad and sordid. You always want to have some heroes. You always want someone you can look up to. The Barenaked Ladies were always that fun sorta group you could look at and say "Man, they look like they're having fun. They made it, and they did it the Canadian way." But it looks like they didn't. It looks like they did it the Los Angeles way, smoking crack, sniffing cocaine and smoking weed when there was none of that white stuff hanging around.

You know, they always looks like they were having so much fun on stage, the kind of fun we all want to have. It's too bad to know that it was all just fake - just a cocaine and drug induced high that only created an illusion. It's sad.

Can't wait for their kids CD, Snacktime to come out. I wonder what type of if the white powder they're putting in the snacks is sugar or the other kind of white powdered sweetener?